A Working Mom's Lamentation

Oh how I miss my maternity leave. I miss spending my days with our little man, talking to him, playing with him, singing to him, reading stories... just loving him. I miss the freedom to take care of Noah's needs as they arose. I miss cuddling with him in the morning after Eric took off for work. I miss rocking him to sleep after nursing. I miss the time we had to enjoy one another.

Being a working mom is more difficult that I expected. I knew I would be busy and that it would be more difficult to do the things we were used to doing before we had Noah. However, I didn't realize that I would not have time to do anything other than work and take care of Noah's basic needs once we arrived home at the end of the day. Now that I'm working again, it feels like all I have time to do is feed Noah, change his diaper, bathe him and put him to bed. We no longer have the luxury of time to play or gaze into one another's eyes. I feel neglectful, even though I know that I am not. Noah is well cared for and a happy healthy baby. But that Mom instinct in me is telling me that I should be able to do more and that any extra time I can squeeze out to spend with our little one is more important than anything else.

So we're leaving anything that isn't a necessity undone until the weekends. The laundry has to wait till Saturday, even if Noah has a blow out on Monday. The dishes often wait a day or two (except Noah's bottles and my pump bottles). The span of time between vacuuming has expanded. The mail is piled on the table. We throw together dinner as fast as possible. Errands must just wait until the extra minutes can be squeezed out of the day.

I find myself living for the weekends when I can again cuddle my little munchkin and spend that quality time I am craving. Of course, then things continue to be left undone because we would rather spend our time with Noah than think about vacuuming the house. But it's worth it. While I mind having a messy house, I value the time with our son more than ensuring that the our home is presentable and ready for company. So you're all still invited over whenever you have time to stop by... just close your eyes and ignore any messes you might encounter.